Search - Jackie Mason - The World According to Me on DVD

F O R.....W A S P.....W A N N A B E E S......L I K E......M

Patricia | Queens, New York, USA | 07/23/2009

(5 out of 5 stars)

"PROLOGUE...........



For My Friends and Relatives:



A few years ago, my mom and I were discussing various other members of our family. I guess I said a few uncomplimentary things, because my mother said: "You don't like your family!" I replied with some of the most serious, truest words I had ever said to anyone: "I LOVE my family. I just wish they weren't Jewish."



To some, these words may sound funny -- almost Woody Allen-ish, (or Jackie Masonic). But to me, they are not funny. They are deadly serious words that scream "truth" from my subconscious. Being Jewish, to me, makes all the sense of being a "canary in a coal mine," -- one of "God's Chosen Victims", as it were. Call me weird -- but I don't want to be a canary! I want to be a swan! Prejudice aside, there is also the little matter of the strictures and limitations Judaism "obligates" one to have and do. I have never seen the sense, for instance, in missing my favourite TV shows because it's Yom Kippur....or Passover...or the Sabbath, etc. Eating pork doesn't harm people who aren't Jewish! And does it not say in the US Constitution that "All Men, (and presumably, all women as well), Are Created Equal"? Judaism would have Jews to be holy, and Gentiles to be righteous. Cannot both BE both? Also, I have read about the dictum that "every Jewish man is a king, and every Jewish woman is a Queen." Balony! I myself like to write fantasy -- but I know the difference between fantasy and reality! Kings and queens of what, may I ask? And if this is true....the world sure has had a very strange way of respecting these "kings" and "queens" -- throughout history! "Assination"---of body, and of character, has long been the tragedy of too many of these Jewish "Kings" and "Queens". This religious dictum is naught but poppycock! And I really hate for the people in my family -- people I truly respect and truly, truly love, to be subjected to even the possibilty of "assassination"....character or otherwise. Of course, their lives are their own...and they can obviusly lead them their own way. I just want to be able to live MY own life, MY own way. Also -- up till this year -- when I learnt that someone else who is Jewish, is fullfilling MY lifelong heart's desire -- by marrying an English Lord this coming September -- I always thought my being Jewish, would TOTALLY preclude my achieving this life-long, (and very strong), desire. Not even converting would help -- would it? I am happy to say that the young lady who is to marry the English Lord this September has a father who, though Jewish, does not "practice" the religion into which he was born. I surmise his daughter does likewise...... Hooray!



No -- Judaism does NOT agree with me. And I do not agree with it! I have great respect for those who WANT to be Jewish -- just as I have respect for those who want to follow ANY other religion. But for myself, I am an Agnostic -- believing in God, but in no particular religion -- for me, anyway. (Of course, if a Protestant, Catholic, or Moslem HRH were to ask me to marry them, I'd change my religion very fast. Even if a Jewish desendant of King David -- who would restore Israel to a Monarchy, would ask me to marry him, I might, indeed, (THEN), become Jewish. But right now, Judaism seems to be denying me my life-long dream...as well as many other things, like peace of mind. I continue to love and respect ALL of my relatives, but Judaism, for so many reasons, continues to turn me off. I hope they may understand this, and, as well, understand the review, below.......





THE REVIEW.......



My mom wanted to watch this show, when it was first shown on TV,

and I felt I had to join her -- not because she was forcing me,

but because I have always DETESTED Jewish culture, and wanted to

"go into the lion's den" and find out WHY.



I've done this before, with other Jewishly-themed programs -- to

no success. Here, however, I stuck GOLD! Mr. Mason delineates

the differences between Gentile and Jewish culture, giving a list

of what Gentile culture admires. (I believe he gives a list of

the hallmarks of Jewish culture, too -- but as I am totally

uninterested in this, I didn't write it down.) However, I DID

write down all the things that connote Gentile culture -- including

physical perfection, loving the ballet, looking like a statue, never

getting sick, getting out of a chair easily, laughing easily,

looking like you have worked on a farm, eating at croweded restaurants without asking what the price of the

food is, choosing food from a menu without being concerned as to

what it is, making decorations out of food, and being agressive. I have kept this list of traits

carefully in a notebook, and have tried to emulate and assimilate

them.



Yes, assimilation IS MY salvation! And -- although I know Mr.

Mason's intention in this performance was NOT to teach wannabee-

WASPS how to act and, perhaps, think the way real WASPS do, he

has, willy-nilly, succeeded in this, by listing so many (wonderful!)

Gentile characteristics!



Thank you, Mr. Mason. For me, you have succeeded in giving me what

I wnat, beyond my fondest dreams, (and, I daresay, your own worst

nightmares!) But thanks! I am SO grateful! And I DO mean it!



: )"